Hey - this is a 98 point word !
Recuperating from an injury for weeks now, I am finding this blog difficult to write. I have been putting it off, feeling my own resistance, knowing it is hard to identify with my chronic illness, but there are just so many online scrabble games you can play in one day.
So here goes...I have lupus, a chronic illness, and am continuously being reminded of the definition of this word chronic. Websters definitions: Chronic - continuing or occurring again and again for a long time. And this one - constantly vexing, weakening or troubling. Then there is my definition - the practice of patience, acceptance, and gratitude when everything goes wrong. (That is the nicely worded version)
Anyway chronic; vexing, troubling, reoccurring for a very long time. It is so cliche to say it is an opportunity, though it does drive me to the depths of understanding that I would not get to on my own. It does soften my heart again and again. It does open doors into connection and humility and has taught me the lesson that I most needed, the lesson of patience. I have learned that a year is actually not a very long time and that determined force more than likely will not get you what you want ( particularly with the body) and that there is a richness to stepping back away from the hotspot of activity.
How about you? Chronic eating habits, chronic speech patterns, chronic stories that seem to happen over and over again? There is something for each of us in looking at what this is really trying to tell us, what lies underneath. And the question is what can we learn this time? What choices are calling for our attention? What resources will support us in trying something different or even accepting that this is what is true for us now? Awareness is the beginning and a chronic condition teaches you the necessity of moving several steps beyond that. Not to belittle awareness, it is powerful and you do have to get over your anger, disappointment, grief, and more to arrive at awareness, quite an accomplishment in and of itself.
But I want more. I want to break the bonds that are causing my suffering. I want to change those deep rutted patterns and I want to be continually open to new possibilities. This is why I have a meditation practice, why I rely on support from alternative holistic practitioners as well as strongly developed relationships with my western doctors. Why I go on retreats and why I am a wellness coach. I want more - not only for myself but for you also.
What do you want? What are your methods of dealing with chronic issues? We are not alone, we are not an isolated island, we are connected by much more than what is on the surface. Please share with us your challenges and successes and to the side is a resource list that I have started and am hoping you will add to.
New definition for chronic: Patient, strong, deeply connected