Alive....With Issues

Highline grafitti dancer, NYC

Issues, we all have them.  Some need a lot of attention; others might do better with less.  Some change our lives; others seem to change our lives.  Some hide in the shadows waiting to come out when the time is right and others are front and center for all to see.  It might be a family of issues or the errant issue that you cannot imagine how it found you.

We can ignore them, fixate on them, deny them, confuse them... It's a complicated issue...our issues.  And Whatever the issue there is almost certainly a story that goes along with it and these stories, as we have talked about before, (see August 2014), can either help us or hinder us.  The interwoven stories on the surface somehow make it seem better, safer, though over time we may find this is not really the case.  We may find the stories make life more difficult. 

So how do we know we have an issue that needs some loving attention?  Our bodies tell us.  It may start off as a quiet intuitive feeling, a small ache in the knee, or heaviness in the heart area.  And if these small requests for attention go ignored the message gets stronger and stronger.  A painful back that keeps you in bed, an extreme sense of overwhelm and fatigue, a body that is obviously not happy.  Is there something you have been ignoring or blocking out?

If we listen to our body,  it might be asking for a change of habit, a change in relationships, a change in sleep patterns, or a different way to relate to our bodies.  Often a fear of change, a desire to keep things just the way they are, even if they are not working all that well for us, keeps us in these unhealthy states.   This sense that the unknown future  is scarier than the present situation.  It is good to remind ourselves that a change just might bring us exactly what we have been dreaming for.  A  change that initially sounds limiting, may actually turn out to bring many good qualities with it. 

And that's where confidence, or trust, comes in and awareness around the first word of this blog title - Alive - becomes important.  Feeling alive, aware of the body being alive and the many intricacies of what that entails gives you something not only to appreciate but also to trust.  An inner wisdom that supports making change so that there is alignment with how you live and what you need.  Fully knowing that you are alive, your foot is alive, your elbow is alive, also engenders caring and kindness for yourself in whatever state you happen to find your self.  And so your issue gets the attention it has been asking for.  It may not be fixed but it will be heard and don't we all just want to be heard?  To be acknowledged?

So what issue have you been avoiding?  Where do you find appreciation in your imperfect day?  What change is your body asking you to embark on? And how does it feel to fully acknowledge Yes I am alive and....I have issues.

I would love to hear from you - me and my very alive, broken foot ! just click the comment button below.   

New Story - Old Coat

Ooh, this motion feels good! 

Ooh, this motion feels good! 

Anticipating our late summer I realize it is time to remove the extremely heavy woolen coat I have been wearing for....Quite awhile.  It was time - I wanted the airiness, the freedom from the weight.  And I realized this cloak was not going to come off easily,  as it had been carefully wrapped and buttoned up to  protect me from the dangers of living in a demanding world with chronic pain and illness.  And I also realized that while it was protecting me it was also suffocating me.  My energy was stuck deep inside that woolen fabric.  I had a hard time completing things that I wanted to do, that I had started, that could ultimately be very satisfying.  I had a sense of resistance as I pulled around the weight of this cloak with an awareness that it was creating discouragement and deep fatigue.  My spirit felt wounded, clipped so that any kind of flight was totally out of the question and everything was difficult.  Ugh.

What is this weighty cloak?  Stories, old stories based on the past, that had helped me regain a sense of balance in my body.  There was a time that I needed to tie down my will power, the will power I had used to override my body's needs and fuel my desire to work better, play harder. The will power that blocked out all messages sent in desperation from my body to slow down, take a break, and finally broke the cellular master design that controlled my immune system, resulting in autoimmune illnesses that turned out to be much stronger than my will.

And after a long while the coat helped.  It slowed me down and allowed the natural instinct of my body to heal and rebalance. It is a story I want to remember; this story of rest, compassion and care of myself and it is a story I am ready to rewrite.   I no longer need to be bound by a heavy cloak to take care of myself.  My patterns have changed and I have learned that rest and awareness are powerful allies, to use when necessary, no cloak required.

I see that these stories we tell ourselves have impact.  They can propel us forward in the direction we hope for or they can weight us down, stuck and immobile.  They impact how we see ourselves, how we interact with others, what opportunities come our way...or don't.  And because we know them so well the possibility of a new ending is unlikely.

As we all know, life by its own nature changes; I change, my body changes.  I needed a new story if I wanted to twirl carefree in a sunny, open field.  So I did take off the coat, letting go of fear, trepidation, confusion, along with the sense of heaviness and resistance that accompanied it.  I have not forgotten the lesson of rest and awareness and now I have the choice of weaving it into a new pattern, a new story, one that includes a little twirling.

So what old story have you been dragging along?   Is it still helpful to you or is there a rewrite that might provide a little more movement in the direction that is calling you right now?

Comment below and let's get this conversation started!